Ugly Boy
by Rayniekinnz
Summary: 'Severus Snape is in love with Lily Evans. Or…he was. The ever-gorgeous Narcissa Black is just what he needs to remember why he ever stopped loving her in the first place.' Christmas fic for Lannistersdebt.


**Ugly Boy/Rich Bitch**

Severus Snape hated his job, plain and simple. He didn't know what possessed him to take up the offer of teaching at his alma mater but it wasn't very long after that that he realised what a huge, _idiotic_ mistake he had made. The money was good, however, and he really didn't have any better options.

Insert annoyed sigh.

He supposed it wasn't _so_ bad; he did get to conduct all the experiments he wanted and with the university's prestigious name getting the top dogs' attention his papers were being published left, right and centre. He couldn't really complain about anything when he was making great scientific breakthroughs – and being paid for it! – but still, nearly fifteen odd years later he wouldn't exactly call himself _happy_. No, happiness seemed to be something you earned and apparently, he just hadn't cut it.

He must have thought "it can't get any worse" at one point, because it was obvious he had jinxed himself. On a miserable May afternoon in '98 he got word that Harry Potter, son to his first love and her douche of a husband, also known as his childhood nemesis, was to be taking his class.

Oh, _joy_.

He didn't even know how the little dunderhead had gotten in! He had failed his high-school courses on the subject miserably – okay, _fine_, he managed to pass with a 70% average – but that old coot Dumbledore just gave him one of his infuriating twinkle-eyed smiles and muttered some bullshit about him just needing 'the right teacher'. The 'right teacher' his left arse-cheek! The boy "needed" a right _thwack_ upside the head!

He could just picture the little snot [never-mind that he was eighteen] and so far, he was not impressed. The compulsory school photographs accompanying his file hadn't quite sold him either. He looked just like this father at that age; same hairstyle, same glasses and same crooked [and he put emphasis on "crooked"] smile. Honestly, he almost felt sorry for him, being so unoriginal!

_Almost_.

It was this news that ruined any and all pleasure he could derive from thinking of the new academic year. There was always one or two students that he could take under his wing, distracting him from murdering the others, but not even trying to figure out who of his new class would become his little mini-Snapes could lighten his mood.

Bloody Potter. Junior _and_ Senior.

It was just his luck ["luck" who just happened to wear eccentric clothing and have a beard long enough to tuck into his belt] that he had to attend the gala welcoming the new wave of students to the university. It was also used to say one last goodbye to especially talented graduates and for department sponsors to show off in their cock-measuring contests.

He meant penises, not roosters. That would be illegal. Probably.

He had to be at the venue an hour before the night officially started, all dressed up and ready to start welcoming future students. He would have rather stayed at home, browsing escorts online or had the university been open, working in his lab. He had a few slow experiments he could have been documenting, but _no_, he had to 'play nice' at some boring school function.

Bloody Potter.

Yes, he was going to blame them for his misfortunes. It had always worked in the past.

And yes, Potter was plural now.

Bloody Potter.

* * *

"Severus, I'm so glad you could make it!" Dumbledore beamed, attempting to pull him into one of those manly one-armed hugs. Snape aptly stepped out of the way, glaring at him warningly.

"I was _forced_ to be here," Snape ground out. "Where's the alcohol? You promised alcohol!"

"But it's still early," Dumbledore clucked disapprovingly.

Snape huffed to himself, throwing his old mentor one last scowl before stalking away. He almost wished he were wearing a cape of sorts – it would have looked much more impressive than his coat flapping behind him.

He grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter and slunk into the shadows, glaring fiercely at anyone and anything that tried to enter his bubble. He would show his face, but he _refused_ to socialise! He would do what he did best, instead – people-watch.

It was quite a big turnout, though that wasn't too surprising, with at least a few hundred people already in the building. He could already see cliques forming, people gravitating towards the more boisterous and attention-grabbing individuals. He wasn't surprised to see Draco Malfoy making his mark, though his interest was instantly peaked.

He had gone to university with the boy's parents, though they had been in their final years when he first started. They had stayed in contact over the years, but he hadn't seen either of them in at least five. He could only really recognise the boy since he looked so much like this father – white-blond hair, impeccably dressed, entertaining a large audience – though as he looked harder, he could definitely see his mother in him. Absently, he wondered if Lucius and Narcissa had deigned themselves to attend a simple university function.

Almost as soon as he thought this, he caught sight of a _horribly_ familiar couple.

He needed more alcohol.

Lily and James Potter stood across the room, smiling and laughing and all dressed up for the evening. The Potter boy stood a little aways from them, talking to a red-head and a frizzy-haired girl who didn't seem to be paying them the least bit of attention, absently smoothing down her dress as she looked around, wide-eyed and full of awe.

Hermione Granger, if he wasn't mistaken. She was one of the small group of students who were invited on pure academic achievement alone and not familiar connections. She would be good competition for Lucius' boy, he was sure.

Maybe he should make them fight to the death over the position as his little protégé…oh yes, that would make the year more bearable…

His eyes flickering grudgingly back to Lily, an old, familiar ache blooming in his chest. He shook his head, gulping down the rest of his wine. He was over her, especially after all the nonsense he had gone through just trying to stay her friend.

No, not even her friend. A faithful lapdog, always around when Potter pissed her off but never good enough for anything else. He tore his eyes off of her, trying not to think about how red her hair still was and how she didn't seem a day older than when he had last seen her. A snort worked its way out of his nose and he forced himself to look for another source of that wonderful potion that made him forget why he ever loved Lily bloody Evans.

* * *

"Severus?"

Oh, this just got _better_ and _better_.

Snape curbed a sigh and glanced up from where he had been studying bottles of rosé, meeting the large green eyes of his once-upon-a-time best friend. Lily looked as lovely as ever, hair loose around her shoulders and curled slightly, complimenting her pale shimmering dress. A modern-cut blazer was draped over her shoulders, a clutch-purse as her side.

"Lily," he said evenly, eyes flickering back to his empty glass and the available fillers. "It's been a long time. How are you?"

_You're not interested, you're just making small talk! Don't get over-involved! Don't get over-involved!_

She looked a bit surprised at his stand-offish attitude, but mustered up a smile and fiddled with her dress. "Oh, yes, years. I'm fine – you know, same old, same old. How are you?" She paused and gave him an once-over, from his polished shoes to his tailored suit and over-coat – courtesy of his lab budget, of course. "You look very nice this evening."

_No need to sound so surprised, _he wanted to say. _We're not kids anymore. Did you expect me to show up in tatty hand-me-downs? I know you knew I'd be here, too. _

"Thank you," he said instead, giving her outfit the cursory glance. "You look pretty." He would have said 'nice', but she had already taken it. Sigh.

There was a short pause in the conversation and he raised an eyebrow at her expectant expression. She seemed to be waiting for something but he brushed off his irrational feelings of guilt, opening the nearest bottle of rosé and pouring some into his glass.

Lily cleared her throat and brushed her hair back. "So…teaching. I never would have thought you would get into such a...interactive profession."

"Oh yes," Snape drawled, trying to stifle the urge to simper and beg for attention. "Well, people and situations change. I do it for the children. You've got to love the little rascals."

She laughed and he frowned a bit, glancing away as he took a sip of his drink. _You weren't supposed to make her laugh, idiot! We're trying to forget her! Forget!_

Despite these thoughts, he was surprised at how unfazed he was by her amusement. Twenty years earlier he would have killed to have a smile like that thrown his way.

_Glad I'm over that. What a pathetic sod…_

Lily started to say something else, but he was more concerned about James effing Potter walking towards them, smiling as if he had just won the lottery.

_Do I have something on my face? Loo-paper attached to my shoe? Did he stick a sign on my back?_

"Lils!" Potter called, swooping down to wrap an arm around his wife. He kissed her cheek, ignoring her fussing before turning to Snape and thrusting out a hand.

"Severus! Wow, it's been a long time, yeah? Fifteen, twenty years?"

Snape slowly raised an eyebrow, making no move to shake the waiting appendage. He merely stared at it and then lifted his eyes to stare at Potter, pointedly taking another sip of his rosé and saying nothing.

Lily looked incredibly uncomfortable and Potter seemed to catch on, clearing his throat and dropping his hand in a smooth move so it slid into his pocket.

"Er, you're a professor now? Harry's taking your class this year, huh? Harry's our son. Bright boy, right Lils? Plays sports too – he's a real catch!"

Potter laughed as if he had made some kind of joke. Snape was inclined to believe it was one of those 'inside' ones as Lily joined in.

"Yes, he's in my class," Snape said simply, offering nothing more. It was quite amusing actually, to see them squirm…

"Um," Potter glanced off to the side, straining to keep the conversation going. "How did you get into science-y things, then?"

Snape gave him a dull look. "I majored in it." _Obviously_.

"I also majored in it, remember, James?" Lily said brightly, trying to steer the conversation onto safer grounds. "I never got to your level, though, Sev. I would have liked to become a professor or something similar, but I had Harry as you can guess. Oh well, you know what they say – you're never too old to get your degree! What do you think, Sev? Care to see if we can fill this old brain with the right knowledge?"

_Sev. Sev. Sev. _He had never liked nicknames, but those seemed to strike a painful cord in him. Long-buried memories seemed to bubble up to the surface and he had to look away, suddenly just wanting to leave. And possibly get smashed. Maybe both.

A group of future students walked passed, briefly interrupting their 'conversation'. A young woman he recognised as the sister of one of his graduates seemed eager to talk to him, but her friends got impatient waiting around and she cut it short, practically begging for a moment of his time later on. He was somewhat pleased to see someone so eager to learn, but he wouldn't even try to deny she was _annoying_. Maybe when all the newness wore off she would calm down.

Oh sweet lord, he hoped so. He thought she might have just pissed herself a little.

"Pretty popular with the ladies, huh?" Potter commented once the students had passed, a strange expression on his face. "I've never seen someone so eager to learn about chemistry."

"It's not just chemistry, James!" Lily scolded, not giving Snape a chance to reply – good thing too, since he had planned to just ignore him. "Honestly, you'd think you would know by now!"

Potter hurried to soothe her, awkwardly trying to explain that he hadn't meant anything by it and _of course_ he understood it wasn't just basic _chemistry_. Snape had a feeling he didn't understand the big deal at all, but said nothing, smirking into his drink instead. He would enjoy this 'conversation' as much as he could.

After a few minutes the attention was back on him, but it didn't bother him as much as it once would have – say, an hour ago. No, he felt more powerful than he could ever remember.

"Speaking of ladies, are you dating anyone?" Lily asked, smile strained. "Or did you come with someone?"

Snape felt his little power-trip melt away. _Of course_ he wasn't dating anyone! He wasn't the dating or marrying type – and by their expectant, _pitying_ expressions, they both knew it. But hell, _everyone_ knew it.

If only he had a witty response to that.

He wished he had walked away after all, mouth thinning into a scowl-like shape as escape plans rushed through his mind. He could always just say no, I don't bloody have a date, but that felt like admitting defeat and he'd be damned if he ever let James effing Potter and Lily make him feel like the loser. He didn't have a kid, he wasn't married_, so what?_ He had – well…bacteria…and over-excited students…and dunderheads…

It was as the polite amount of time to respond was coming to an end that a slender hand landed on his shoulders, manicured nails glittering under the hall lights. A gentle perfume wisped past his nose, curling around his jaw and almost forcing his stiff neck to turn to the side, eyes flickering to meet pale blue.

"I'm sorry for the wait, Severus. I see Mr. and Mrs. Potter have been keeping you company?"

Narcissa Malfoy – gorgeous socialite and businesswomen, having graduated Hogwarts University with degrees in Law, English and a science he seemed to have forgotten. She was a handful of years older than him and yet she had never looked better, silvery-blonde hair piled up on her head with long strands curling around her aristocratic face. She wore minimal make-up, as was flattering to her natural beauty, and had a donned a midnight-blue gown that evening, the material soft and shimmering as it tumbled to the floor. Her medium bust was accentuated by a synched waist and patterned lace.

"It's no trouble," he found himself saying, lifting his arm just as she reached to hook them together. It was a smooth move, one that neither of them had to even think about.

Lily and Potter seemed to be in a state of shock, though Snape couldn't blame them. He was also stunned – though if he wasn't mistaken, the lovely ring that should have rested on her left hand was mysteriously gone. He didn't remember having heard anything about Lucius and Narcissa divorcing, though it must have been an amiable one if they had come together. He could see Lucius then, a hand on his son's shoulder as he spoke to one of the other professors. They locked eyes briefly and he was granted a slight tilt of the head, platinum hair fluttering off his shoulder.

_Oh. Well. This could get interesting._

"Oh, Mrs. Malfoy, yes?" Lily recovered, shooting a strange look between them. She smiled, subtly elbowing her husband.

Snape watched her interestedly, wondering what she would make of the situation. She had never liked Lucius or Narcissa when they were all at school together – despite their time together being brief, it had been a part of the reason why they drifted apart. Lily claimed he was being influenced by Lucius and Narcissa's older sister, Bellatrix, and their little group, while he had merely seen it as growing into himself. She thought they were all 'pompous gits', which was a bit hypocritical of her in his opinion. _Cough_ Potter _cough_.

"Miss Black, actually," Narcissa said, smiling in that way of hers that could mean nothing or everything. Snape could clearly see some ice around the edges.

"Oh," Lily said, perhaps a bit dumbly, eyes zeroing in on the hand curled around Snape's forearm. She seemed to notice the missing ring too. For a brief moment Snape thought she might volunteer to look for it.

Narcissa tugged gently on his arm and he set his glass down, quite ready to leave. "I'm terribly sorry to pull Severus away, but we must really get back. I'm sure you can catch up later."

"No problem," Potter said, glancing curiously at his silent wife. "Er…it was nice seeing you again, Severus. Miss Black."

"Yes," Snape said simply, lifting a hand in a half-wave as he allowed Narcissa to lead the way. He wasn't sure where she was taking him, but he didn't mind. After the shock she had just given Potter and Lily, he would gladly follow her anywhere.

"Well, that was amusing," Narcissa announced, turning her head towards him, soft hair brushing his cheek and lips quirked up into a red smirk. "My, it's lovely to see you again, Severus."

"And you," he returned, a smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

And he meant it. He had always had fun with Narcissa, Lucius and his old crowd, but this interesting new development was – stirring.

Glancing up into blue eyes, he couldn't help but think the promises that lay there were much more fulfilling than in green.

**Finis. **

* * *

My gorgeous Ciara – Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Um…what even is this?! I don't even know anymore…I just about had a stroke trying to figure out what to write [I wanted to do S/N because I didn't get around to it for your birthday!] and I just had so many ideas dfginjbjnsdfbnkmn!

It was a bit crackier than I intended, which I'm not sure if something you enjoy…but, you know, I wrote it all with love! I hope you like, lovely! :'D [and if you don't I might cry but I'll do it quietly so I don't bother you D':]

Side note: Title ["Ugly Boy" and "Rich Bitch"] are both Die Antwoord songs. Has no real significance to the story other than the obvious.


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